Regret

I know I don't really have time for this, as finals week is approaching rapidly, but I had an experience today.

I was not feeling well as I was coming home from school today, but soon after taking my seat on the bus I was joined by an older man, who immediately asked me if I was an artist. Of course, I would be obligated to hold a conversation with a person when I didn't feel like talking to anyone, but despite feeling unwell I responded cheerily. We continued to hold a conversation until his stop and I immersed myself in my own thoughts; however, it was brief. Another passenger then tapped my shoulder and inquired about about my hat. Unfortunately, I was not able to tell her where it came from because it was a gift, but we spoke for a few more minutes until she also reached her stop.

Some days I find that having a simple conversation with a stranger, about almost nothing at all, can brighten my day. The bus ride was wonderful, but the title of this post is Regret, so I suppose that I must address it.

When I got off the bus I approached the crosswalk, eager to be at home. I noticed a man carrying a cane waiting at the crosswalk. Our eyes met briefly. He looked a bit shy, and I sensed some worry. When the signal changed I began to walk across the street. I walked slowly, waiting to see if the man could manage crossing on his own. I should have payed more attention. When I turned to see how he was doing, I saw that he had only taken one step and was very hesitant to continue into the street. The signal changed again, and he was still on the other side of the road. I wished I had run back to help him. I waited for the signal to change again, but before it did the man had already requested assistance. I started toward home again, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he had made it across, and then I felt sorry for not having means of transportation to offer him. I do not know where he went after that, but I regret not offering my arm to him when I recognized his need.

I do not know why this experience had such an impact on me today, but when I stood and watched him as he struggled with the decision to step into the crosswalk I felt my heart breaking for him. I wont hesitate again.