Regret

I know I don't really have time for this, as finals week is approaching rapidly, but I had an experience today.

I was not feeling well as I was coming home from school today, but soon after taking my seat on the bus I was joined by an older man, who immediately asked me if I was an artist. Of course, I would be obligated to hold a conversation with a person when I didn't feel like talking to anyone, but despite feeling unwell I responded cheerily. We continued to hold a conversation until his stop and I immersed myself in my own thoughts; however, it was brief. Another passenger then tapped my shoulder and inquired about about my hat. Unfortunately, I was not able to tell her where it came from because it was a gift, but we spoke for a few more minutes until she also reached her stop.

Some days I find that having a simple conversation with a stranger, about almost nothing at all, can brighten my day. The bus ride was wonderful, but the title of this post is Regret, so I suppose that I must address it.

When I got off the bus I approached the crosswalk, eager to be at home. I noticed a man carrying a cane waiting at the crosswalk. Our eyes met briefly. He looked a bit shy, and I sensed some worry. When the signal changed I began to walk across the street. I walked slowly, waiting to see if the man could manage crossing on his own. I should have payed more attention. When I turned to see how he was doing, I saw that he had only taken one step and was very hesitant to continue into the street. The signal changed again, and he was still on the other side of the road. I wished I had run back to help him. I waited for the signal to change again, but before it did the man had already requested assistance. I started toward home again, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he had made it across, and then I felt sorry for not having means of transportation to offer him. I do not know where he went after that, but I regret not offering my arm to him when I recognized his need.

I do not know why this experience had such an impact on me today, but when I stood and watched him as he struggled with the decision to step into the crosswalk I felt my heart breaking for him. I wont hesitate again.

Michael William Lindsey a.k.a. Mikey Pooh

This month can't pass fast enough.

It's hard to believe that it has been nearly six and a half years since I met Mike.

I can remember the day that he stepped through the door of Ms. Brown's chemistry class. He was nearly 15 minutes late for class, because apparently he could not find the classroom. Mike was a a pretty average looking boy. Green Abercrombie & Fitch polo, jeans, gel encrusted hair, scrawny...cute. I didn't know it at the time, but I was lucky. I was the student with an empty seat next to me that day. Ms. Brown instructed Mike to take a seat and handed him a copy of the course syllabus.

Mike and I didn't talk a lot during the first week or two of class. I was new to the school and only knew one other person in the class. I soon realized that she and Mike were friends, and took advantage of her acquaintance with him. The three of us worked together during the first lab, but once I realized how fun Mike was (and I'm pretty sure he thought I was cool, too...) we paired off. We were now permanently lab partners, but it still took some time to form our real friendship.

I worked up the nerve to call Mike for 'help' on an assignment that was due the next day. He gave me some brief advice, and our conversation immediately deviated. We started writing notes to each other during class. We got into trouble for talking during class (I've never been glared at by the teacher in the way that Ms. Brown glared at me. It was soul-piercing). We ate lunch together. We became inseparable. It was pretty apparent that we were both pretty interested in each other, but because we weren't yet 16, it was nothing more than a mutual 'crush'.

We continued to talk on the phone often. On one occasion, I played Popcorn Popping on the piano over the phone for him, and he played the guitar and sang for me. We would talk for hours. I was always a bit paranoid that my parents would be listening-in, as I did not have a cell phone yet, but it didn't stop me. I remember falling asleep talking to him on the phone. I remember laughing to tears. I remember a five-hour conversation about the gospel and hearing Mike bear his beautiful testimony to me for the first time. I remember making plans.

Mike and I remained close for the remainder of our sophomore year, but summer came around and Mike went to debate camp. I wasn't able to talk to him as much; we were both busy. The summer flew by, and our junior year quickly approached.

The weekend prior to the new school year, a mutual friend hosted a party. I was thrilled to see Mike again! I found him at the party...asking for another girl's number. I was bummed...but I dismissed it for the most part. I talked to him soon after, and everything seemed normal...until he asked me to grab a drink and a brownie for him. When I returned, he told me he didn't want them anymore and soon left to socialize with someone else. At that point, I wanted to go home. I hadn't come to see anyone else. I had other friends, but in the previous year, Mike was my companion and I had wanted to spend time with him. I found a seat on the porch swing next to Ben, and quietly sat tuning in on bits of his conversation with Christian until my parents could pick me up.

I received a call the next day from Mike. He was calling to let me know that he was not going to ask me to homecoming anymore, as we had planned months earlier. The conversation was short, less than a minute. I knew that our relationship would be changing.

Mike and I didn't talk much after that phone call. He was spending more time with his debate friends, and I kept busy with my new job as a lifeguard and swim instructor, but I missed Mike.

One night, I was logged into MSN Messenger and his name popped up as 'available'. I engaged in light conversation with him, asking how he had been. He had recently turned 16, so I asked him if he had been on any dates. He responded in a way that I hadn't expected. I teased him a little, but it soon turned into an argument. That argument changed our relationship permanently. He had displayed an arrogance that I had never know him for. I was hurt by his words and his attitude that night, and I had determined from that argument that I could not maintain a friendship with him.

Following our argument and a bitter email, we did not talk for months. He started eating lunch with a new group of kids. We didn't have any classes together, so it was fairly easy to avoid contact with him. We were becoming strangers.

It seemed that our friendship had completely disappeared, until I was surprised one day to feel a tap on my shoulder during lunch. I was a bit startled to see Mike when I turned, but entirely shocked when he asked me if I would go to Junior Prom with him. In my awe, my reply was not convincing, and he restated his request. I would go to Junior Prom with Mike. I had answered, and he left. I wasn't sure what to do at that point. This boy, that I had decidedly despised, would be my date for the Junior Prom!

For weeks we exchanged information about where we would meet and what we would wear and who would be in our group for the dance. I was precise and demanding about what he should wear, in order for us to match. I wanted him to wear a white tux and a red bow-tie. It had to be a white tux. We were going to be the most stunning couple to ever attend the Junior Prom, and I didn't feel any guilt forming requirements for Mike. I felt like he owed it to me after what had happened to ruin our friendship. If he wanted it back, he would have to work for it. I was merciless, but he came through. I think that was the most expensive apology that I have ever received from anyone.

The day date was fun, disregarding the awful sliver that penetrated my palm during our mini-golfing at Boondocks, and the dance was...loud (but we looked DANG good). I was still a bit uncomfortable, as we were in a group with his debate friends, who were dating each other, and who I was not acquainted with at all...but it was fun. We watched a movie, ate some food, and had some car trouble afterward (the battery died), but I got home feeling like my friendship with Mike had never been impaired.

Once again, we became inseparable, but this time it was different. We were 16. For about a month, Mike and I were officially 'an item'. Unfortunately for him, I was young and afraid of commitment. I broke-up with him. We still talked a lot. I cried on his shoulder. We went to lunch together. We watched movies together. We were best friends.

Our Senior year began. I got a new boyfriend. Mike had a few new girlfriends of his own. We kept in touch. We offered each other advice, but we didn't see each other as often. I watched Mike go through some tough times. He had to make a lot of decisions, and not all of them were what I would have wanted him to make, but I always knew that I wanted to be his friend. Through thick and thin. I made sure I could be there for him in whatever way possible, if he needed me.

The day came. We marched onto the stage, one following the other, to receive our High School diplomas. Mike and I were growing up. Our plans would be changing drastically.

I moved to Ephraim, he moved to Salt Lake City. We were hardly able to see each other. We made visits and talked as regularly as we could, but for a time I didn't know what Mike's plans were. I knew that he wasn't attending church, which made me sad, but I was still his friend. Then I received a call. I have never been happier to hear news through a telephone.

Mike would be serving a mission. He hadn't told anyone yet, but he was getting his papers ready and was arranging everything with his bishop. I danced around my apartment with joy. Literally danced...and yelled...and nearly cried. Mike would be serving a mission!

A few months later, after a weekend of anything and everything we could think of to do together, I attended Mike's farewell. He spoke eloquently about his struggles and his trust in the Lord, about his family, about his friends, about the things that matter. I bawled. I could hardly imagine spending two years without my best friend, but I knew that the Lord had called him to Taiwan because he was needed there. I knew that the next two years would change his life forever. I stayed with Mike for as long as I could that night. We played Jenga (I dominated). I didn't want to say goodbye, but I had a two hour drive back to Ephraim. Pulling out of the driveway, I burst into tears once again. I had to pull over, only yards from his house, because I couldn't see the road well enough to drive. I regained some composure, and headed back to Ephraim.

The next two days were torture. I got to talk to Mike like we always did, but I knew that it would only be a matter of hours until our communication would be severely limited. He was set apart as an Elder, and left me with a short text message, that I will keep forever. I cried myself to sleep that night, and every night that week.

Mike left for the MTC the next morning, and I had a letter ready to send. I wrote Mike whenever I could. I sent him packages. He wrote me back. He sent me a package.

One letter was not as cheerful as the others. Mike's uncle had passed away. Of all the things to experience while serving the Lord, I can imagine that a death in the family would be the hardest, but Mike kept working hard to become an incredible missionary. I watched his testimony grow. Every letter I received from him was a witness that he was doing the Lord's work, that the gospel is true, and that Christ lives. I was grateful to be able to see such changes in my best friend.

It has nearly been two years since Mike left. He will be coming home next month and I am beyond excited. I am proud of the work he has done. Despite the trials of losing a parent and uncle, a close friend, while serving the Lord, he has endured to the end. Mike is one of the most incredible people I have had the privilege to know. I look forward to being friends with him forever.

This month can't pass fast enough.

A Special Sandwich

Today I realized that I have been a glutton to a new kind of food. It's something that I can't share with anyone else, and it has a bitter-sweet flavor...mostly bitter, actually. I have been cramming myself full of Cecily Speaks Sandwiches. Yes, that is right. I have spent more time than I would like to admit eating my own words...feasting on my own words. Yuck...

I spent a few minutes reviewing previous posts a few days ago, and I still believe that I had sense behind most of the things that I wrote...but, I think that I have also experienced a realization that I am guilty of a few
of the accusations I made of the general population.

I read my post Something Blue, and I still stand by everything that I wrote in that post. However, I did find it a bit humorous that sometimes letting marriage happen naturally can be something that happens fast.

'Every relationship needs to progress, right? Well in Utah County that doesn't mean you learn something new each day about the person you are dating...it means you are attracted to them, you make them your significant other, and two weeks later, you have a date set...in four months (max!). Don't take it slow or anything...you are only committing for eternity.'

Here it is...the bitter taste of my writing. Haha. I met Robbie at the end of February, we were talking about marriage within two weeks, engaged in two months, and married in four. Don't worry though, I feel pretty confident that I made a smart decision for this eternal commitment:)

Now, I still think that every word in that post is true. Marriage is a big deal, and should be a decision that is made very carefully...I just got lucky and found the perfect man...I had to take advantage of it:)

Unfortunately, I wrote another post...and I think I devoured every ounce of it. Bloggers Make the Perfect Housewives. This was before I became a blog addict (please refer to Confessions of a Blogger). In the months since I wrote that post I have come to LOVE blogs. Especially the kind written by mom's who craft and sew. I actually like reading about the cute little things that they make for and do with their kids. And I am obsessed with tutorials. I can't get enough of the simple ideas for skirts and dresses, and pants, and bow-ties, and basket liners, and duvet covers, and...well, everything. They are just so fun!

'Ha...any of those sound familiar? Well, lets face the facts. In Utah, the typical wife...is the typical housewife. Wake up, make breakfast, wake up the kids, pack the kids lunches, clean the house, read a little, choose a font for the new wall-stickers, pick up the kids, make snacks for the kids, take the kids to dance and soccer practice, pick the kids up, take them to piano lessons, make dinner for the family, pick up the kids, set the table, welcome home the husband, eat a quiet family dinner around the kitchen table, clear the table, wash the dishes, help the kids with their homework, get the kids in their pajamas, get the kids to brush their teeth, get the kids to climb  into bed, read a bedtime story, tuck the kids in, finish off the day with a little pillow-talk, lights out.'

As entertaining as it was to poke fun at the stereotypical 'mormon-mom', I think they are amazing. I want to be so amazing one day. I want to sew my kid's clothes. I want to make them fun treats. I want to craft. I want to cook. I want to be the mom that does everything...I guess I better figure out how to be that wife first though...haha. Anyway. I will eat those bitter paragraphs without too much complaint...

It's a good thing I can laugh at myself and move on...I have some work to do. One day at a time:)

A Little Frosting...

So, I know this is a bit late, but this is April 15, 2011:

My day was pretty average to begin with. I went to work. I went to class. We turned in a couple of projects. It was good, and relatively routine. I spent some time with Alex, and I had been feeling a bit suspicious of a certain proposal...I was expecting that it would happen that night, but Alex assured me that it would be the next week (I didn't want to know, but he told me...and I believed him). I went on with my day feeling less anxious...and more sick. I had contracted an awful sore throat, and it was ruining my day. I sat at home for a few hours working on homework and tuning into my favorite show, House.

Robbie hadn't talked to me much during the day, but we had plans to go to sushi and $5 climb night at momentum that night. He did pass on the information that he had gotten permission to go early to the climbing gym for the same rate ( I thought this was a little bit weird...a weekend and Robbie was trying to get home early?), but I shook off the weirdness of it, and planned on going earlier.

He came to my apartment on the motorcycle and was REALLY excited to go...I just assumed it was because we hadn't gone for so long. Unfortunately, his excitement wasn't a remedy to my sore throat...so naturally, I was dragging my feet a little. I decided to change into another shirt, and for some reason thought I should iron my shirt. An ugly, neon-pink t-shirt. Anyway, as I was ironing, Robbie sat up from the couch and told me he hadn't checked the weather earlier, and it was going to rain. I wasn't surprised...Utah hardly has consistent weather. Because of the rain he wanted to take the motorcycle back to his parents and asked if I would pick him up there. I agreed and he left. I continued to take my sweet time. After feeling a little bit guilty for being so slow, I hurried to pick up Robbie and we made our way to sushi. I was quiet while we ate because talking was irritating to my throat, but it didn't seem to bother Robbie. We ate and left quickly, as my null effort to look decent had put us 'behind schedule'.

We got to the gym, and I made my way directly to the bouldering room...I am not the biggest fan of top-roping (I am a bit of a chicken when it comes to heights, and I haven't had a lot of good experiences with belay partners). I was doing better than I expected on the routes, which made me happy, but it wasn't quite enough to make me forget about my sore throat. Robbie ran off to get a drink and I finished another route while he was gone, but after the route I decided a little break might be nice. I was sitting on a foam cube when Robbie walked into the room holding up two harnesses, and a grin from ear-to-ear...top-roping. I did not want to top-rope...and I gave him a look that let him know it. Despite my silent protest, Robbie handed me my harness and told me he had picked a route for me to climb, and we could come back to the bouldering room afterward. We walked to a route on the smallest wall in the gym, tucked away in a corner near the wall of windows. I had the belay device and was planning in my head how I would get out of climbing it by making Robbie go first...and then he grabbed the ATC from my harness and told me that I was going first...my plan was immediately ruined. To top that off, Robbie asked what he was supposed to do with the rope...which made me imagine the long drop before my abrupt death if he were to mess up on belay...luckily he reassured me that he knew how to belay, but didn't know how to rope-up (I was a bit more comfortable with that...just a bit). So I roped him up and started the climb...still plotting to only climb a portion of it...until I reached a note, obviously from Robbie, tacked to the wall. I looked up to see a line of notes, evenly spaced, tacked until the peak of the route...my plans were falling through all sorts of holes. With the obligation to finish, I kept climbing. By the time I was half-way up the wall, I was tired, and began to shake (okay, maybe the shaking wasn't only from being tired...). After a bit of a struggle, I finally reached the top, and read the last note. I should have thought more of the whole gesture, but at this point, I had myself thinking that it was a cute gesture from my bit-of-a-romantic boyfriend (I blame my oblivion on my illness). Robbie let me down, and I said thank you. He gave me a kiss and a little remark...and then he lowered to one knee (I know, I know...surprise! Hahaha). I said yes, and sat down. My legs could hardly hold me up at that point, so on one of the most exciting and memorable nights of my life so far, Robbie's friend, Jeremy, photographed and video-recorded the proposal, while I sat on the floor. I was presented with a beautiful bouquet of peach-colored roses and took some time to admire my ring and my new fiancè (both of which are PERFECT) while I let my legs and nerves recover. I did not notice my throat for those blissful minutes:)

Robbie and I are going to be sealed for time and eternity in the Salt Lake Temple on June 24, 2011 and I couldn't be happier.

Oh, and I think I might have Robbie post his side of the story...it's a lot more funny. Haha.

This is How a Heart Breaks

I visited the doctor for the first time in over a decade...about fifteen years, actually. I have always been a bit curious about my health, not worried because I rarely get sick (knock-on-wood...), and I like to think that I am a generally healthy person. Until this visit I had no idea that I might have any sort of chronic condition. My parents neglected to ever tell me about my heart-murmur until it was first mentioned to me on Monday. The doctor did not seem to be too alarmed by it because I am asymptomatic, but she did warn me to pay careful attention to how easily I fatigue and any dramatic changes that may occur in that aspect. My mom then told me that when I was a baby, they were told about the condition, and they took me to Primary Children's Hospital to have me tested further. Primary Children's Hospital told my parents that I didn't have a heart-murmur and sent us on our way.

Talking to my roommate, I was reminded of a high-school basketball player about a year ago, who dropped dead after making a winning shot...because of an enlarged heart and a murmur. I have since decided to do a little bit more reading on the condition, so that I can be prepared to recognize any symptoms that could show up, without being paranoid that all the fatigue that I experience is going to cause me to keel over.

Now I just have to find out what is wrong with my joints. Ouch.

A Mystery Boy

There is a boy that catches the bus to school when I do. On one occasion, a few months ago, I noticed that when we got off the bus and as we were walking into the school he was keeping stride with me. Because we weren't actually saying anything to each other, but we were walking like we should have been, I felt pretty awkward. Thinking that I could avoid making small talk and maybe get to class a few minutes earlier, I took longer steps. He took longer steps. Hmmm...so I shortened AND slowed my stride. So did he. We were both still walking in silence, and the whole time that I was trying to shake him off, I was thinking about how completely ridiculous my walking pattern looks. This happened a few times over the past few months.

 I don't even know his name...and yes, I should just take initiative and talk to him, but in the morning and on the way to school, I really just don't feel like it. So I walk somewhat regularly into the school and to the student center with a complete stranger, only exchanging a 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' if he catches the door for me.

Today was different.

I went through the same uncomfortable motions of trying to walk independently into the school, thanked him for opening the door, and caught a slight lead from that as I entered the building. He caught up to me, of course...and then he spoke. I wasn't surprised by the conversation topic he chose...weather. My favorite thing to talk about. As we continued to have a nearly-pointless conversation, I learned that Mystery Boy is from St. George, and then he was off to the science department and I said goodbye. As I made my way to  my class I reviewed the humor of experience, and chuckled a little bit.

I can't wait to see what I will learn next time.

Confessions of a Blogger

I have a confession to make. It's not something that I am particularly proud of, but I have become obsessed with blogs. It's like a drug for me. I am constantly looking for new blogs to follow with creative ideas for home decor, a new, simple pattern for a fun skirt, a healthy recipe...the list goes on. I can't get enough! My teachers can even vouch for it...they catch me in class reading blogs almost daily...and all I can do is blush, giggle, and continue reading (despite what my teacher's 'subtle' reminders to pay attention). Now, I am a good student...I just enjoy a little multi-tasking. That is normal, right? I am a woman, after all...
The good thing about this new fascination is that it has inspired me to be more thrifty. I want to make things for myself and have a greater desire to do that than to go and buy what I want off the rack or the shelf. I am beginning to realize that I can make exactly what I want, exactly how I want it, for a fraction of the cost:) It's marvelous! The downside to the ever-flowing ideas I have had, is that I don't have the time that I need to actually go through with them! I am patiently awaiting the arrival of summer, when I will hopefully have more time to develop my new, thrifty self:)

The weather is lovely today. The air is warm, the birds are singing, and the sun is shining. Oh, What glorious spring weather!
However, I can't help but be slightly suspicious of this marvelous day. This week has been full of somewhat unfortunate, unexpected events and today is April Fool's Day. I am just waiting for mother nature to say, 'ha! You thought you could catch a break today!? Not so!' and bring another springtime snowstorm. I will keep my fingers crossed.
Oh, and I have class until two, so if anyone wants to avoid the storm and enjoy the sun, you will at least have until then:)

A Little Bird Holds My Heart

Today is my twenty-first birthday. I was lucky enough to do most of the celebrating a day early. My mom made the classic chicken and rice casserole and my favorite jello-cake, we sang the family's extremely long, traditional birthday song, and I had leisure time to spend with my family and friends. It was a relatively 'normal' family birthday dinner. However, I did have an exciting and out-of-the-ordinary experience prior to the family dinner. My sweetheart planned a surprise for me:) and it was a very pleasant surprise! After church, Robbie planned to take me to meet his friend, Dan Barney. I had heard a lot about Dan and his home (which is marvelous), and his sweet girls. When we arrived at the Barney's home I was amazed by the beautiful art that was displayed so tastefully throughout the rooms, and Dan himself was very friendly and excited to meet me, but the experience only improved:) I knew that Dan had married the daughter of James Christensen, the creator of many pieces of art that I have admired since childhood, and I had recently become acquainted with some of her artwork...which I fell in love with upon first-sight. I had the pleasure of meeting Cassandra Barney, the thrill of seeing her beautiful studio, and to top it all off I received a gift:) Robbie knew that I loved Cassandra's work and was able to get me an original lithograph. It was wrapped in beautiful paper (I almost felt guilty opening it) and the litho was carefully matted and framed. I was and have been so excited about the piece of art ever since...all of my family and classmates have seen a picture of it:) I am grateful for such talent, and for the amazing man that made it possible for me to display such talent in my home. I couldn't ask for anyone better, and the surprise was a success in my book:) Now I just need to hang it!

Funny, Fat Felines

All-around American culture.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

I have a unique job. I am a 'Community Ambassador' for the apartment complex that I live at. In an attempt to be more 'student-friendly', thirteen people have been hired to offer residents someone they can go to with roommate problems and to plan activities to help unite the community. I am one of the thirteen. That is not what makes my job unique. The group of thirteen is what makes my job unique. We joined together seven months ago, and immediately felt that we needed to have a strong bond together. As CAs we needed to be a family. As part of this decision, we decided that we would have a sleepover together each month.  Our sleepovers are crazy. We are up all night dancing, playing games, watching trippy videos, eating, talking about religion, talking about sex, or sometimes crying our eyes out to each other. Every sleepover has something that the last was missing. As much as I admittedly have complained about the sleepovers, they have brought a unity to our staff, to our family. I would like to dedicate this blog to that family.

Allison
This girl is amazing. She is one of the sweetest, most humble, and kind girls I have ever met. She has her priorities set. She knows her values and sticks to them, like super-glue. She sets an incredible example for me. She inspires my desire to serve others. She is spunky and fun to be around, and knows how to do that without any compromise to her moral standards. She loves the gospel with all her heart, and is constantly sharing it with everyone she knows, as well as the world that she doesn't know. I love Allison for her devotion.

Allina
Powerhouse. Allina is strong. Strong-willed, strong-minded, and most definitely strong-bodied.  Allina is opinionated, not overwhelmingly, but opinionated still. She is honest. She is passionate. Allina and I have a lot in common, and although we haven't had many opportunities to share our interests together, I have always admired Allina, and she has really been an influence on the way I view myself. Allina works hard for her relationships, for her individual goals, and for her beliefs. I love Allina for her drive.

Alex
I have written about Alex before. He is still his quirky self, but since I last blogged about him, I have come to know him even better. Alex is still one of my very best friends. He is like the same person I am. He understands the way that I relate to people, the strange way that I connect with people. On multiple occasions we have realized that we are having experiences that are eerily similar at the same time. I can tell Alex my feelings without feeling judged. He may not agree with everything that I say, but he actually listens and tries to really understand. Beside that, I laugh with Alex. Oh boy, do I laugh...yes, the things that we may laugh about may be slightly controversial, but some of the most funny things I have ever heard have come from his mouth. Ha...just this morning, I laughed so hard with him that I got a stomach ache (it didn't help that I was swallowing massive amounts of air...haha). I love that we can laugh at things that nobody else catches. It's like a secret...and who doesn't like a secret? I love Alex for being me.

Bryanna
I have only good things to say about Bryanna. She is just a fun girl to be around. She promotes such a lively atmosphere no matter where she is. She knows how to make people smile. Something that I have always admired in her, is her desire to do what is right. To make good decisions. She gets things done, and when she is done, she has done the best she is capable of doing. The activities that she plans always turn out to be big hits. I love Bryanna for her commitment.

Chase
I can say this with confidence. Chase has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen on a man. Chase is one of the most easy-going, friendly people I know. His attitude about life is incredible. He knows the importance of being kind to everyone, no matter the circumstances. He is all about a good time. He loves his music, and is constantly surrounded by uplifting tunes and heavy lyrics. He plays amazingly, and sings just as well. Chase has a genuine love for mankind that I have rarely seen in anyone. He wants everyone to be happy. I love Chase because he loves EVERYONE.

Benjamin
Benji is the Godfather. He directs our uncoordinated group when we need it the most. Ben is stern, but kind. Ben is incredible. He juggles a million things at a time and is always wearing a smile. If I were in his shoes...I would be dead. Ben is responsible. Ben is outgoing. Ben is giving. I don't think anyone in our group works as hard as Ben has to hold us together. Through our tiffs he is our glue. I love Ben for his faith.

Bridget
I can imagine that yesterday was probably one of the longest days Bridget has ever experienced. She drove to St. George to run a half-marathon. While running, her tendinitis returned, but she finished what she set out to do. She didn't give up on the months of training that she had pushed and pushed to be ready for that run. Then she drove back to Orem

Jorden
This woman is GORGEOUS. Jorden is fun...on a new level of fun. Jorden is always laughing. She makes everything she does fun. A simple game can be the most fun thing you've ever done, if Jorden is there. I see a lot of myself in Jorden. She has been through quite a few rough patches in the past year and she has been able to pull through every one of them with an attitude that things will be okay. Even though I don't know her whole story, Jorden gives me hope that everything will be okay for me too. I love Jorden for her hope.

Jordan
This boy can make ANYTHING look good. He could make a port-a-potty pretty if it needed to be. Jordan sticks to his friends. He will do anything to help his friends be happy. Jordan has smarts that I could never amount to. Jordan knows how to appeal to people, he knows how to make others happy. Jordan dresses well...and I always appreciate a guy with a good sense of fashion. He creates. He is constantly building beautiful things and making the world more aesthetically pleasing. I love Jordan for his appeal.

Jenner
What a goof:) Jenner rubs off on people. He definitely has a positive influence in his encounters. Jenner can take sarcasm...which, in my case, is very important. He doesn't take offense. Jenner is lively. At six in the morning, he is still making people laugh. Still being silly and fun. I love Jenner for his youthfulness.

John
Hahaha....oh, John. He was the silent one when we first started working together.  Everyone thought he was going to stay that way too...the shy introvert. John is not the shy introvert. John is constantly cracking jokes...usually really cheesy jokes, but that is what makes him so funny. John tries to include everyone. He is a peacemaker. He pulls people together...sometimes literally...haha. I love John for his endurance.

Kami
In two weeks, Kami will be married. Technically, she no longer works with us, but she will remain a part of our group as far as I am concerned. Kami is constantly smiling. She knows everyone...and she makes everyone feel like a best friend. Kami is a best friend to everyone. She shows genuine interest. I love Kami because she is real.

We are definitely far from perfect...especially me, but together we work. We build trust together and become stronger with every encounter. So much sleep is lost at our sleepovers, but I don't miss it. This family is worth it. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Bloggers Make the Perfect Housewives

It seems like the trendiest blogs right now are all 'written' by your typical housewife. The best housewives have something good to say every day about their kids, their husbands, their cooking, or their most recent crafty project. Their blogs are splayed with little ballerina's, soccer studs, chocolate-chip cookies, and inspiring decorative tiles.

'This morning I woke up and Sadie was sick, I brewed up this awesome home remedy and her tummy ache is already calming down! Yay for my grandma's secret recipe!'

'Tanner had his very first soccer game today! He almost scored a goal! Next week I am responsible for the after-the-game treats! Time to break out the recipe box again! I'm thinking...cinnamon buns and wassail...it's supposed to be a little chilly next week!'

'My husband is the BEST! He surprised me this morning with the most beautiful bouquet of pink roses!  I love him so much and couldn't ask for anyone better!'

'My latest pillow! I hand-stitched every bead, and cut out the hearts myself! I can't wait to place it perfectly on the couch for a lovely touch for Valentine's Day<3...oh, and my sweet neighbor brought us the most delicious, heart-shaped sugar cookies, that the kids will absolutely love when they get home from school! Thanks, Nancy!'

Ha...any of those sound familiar? Well, lets face the facts. In Utah, the typical wife...is the typical housewife. Wake up, make breakfast, wake up the kids, pack the kids lunches, clean the house, read a little, choose a font for the new wall-stickers, pick up the kids, make snacks for the kids, take the kids to dance and soccer practice, pick the kids up, take them to piano lessons, make dinner for the family, pick up the kids, set the table, welcome home the husband, eat a quiet family dinner around the kitchen table, clear the table, wash the dishes, help the kids with their homework, get the kids in their pajamas, get the kids to brush their teeth, get the kids to climb  into bed, read a bedtime story, tuck the kids in, finish off the day with a little pillow-talk, lights out.

If a blogger isn't a housewife yet, their blog is their resume. A prospective male may stumble upon their blog and be impressed...potential husbands are always looking for the perfect woman online. Haha...Oh, the comedy.

I will be serious here for a moment. I kinda like reading a few, select housewife blogs. They paint a pretty picture in my head of what my future holds...but, I am going to make an effort not to turn my family into blog material. My life wont be an e-scrapbook.

I Love, Love...

It is February, and it seems like a good month to declare my love and currently there are a few things that I really, really love. I would like to dedicate this post to my current obsessions.

First. I love tea. Tea, tea, tea. I love tea. I am at this moment finishing a nice hot mug of sweet, ginger tea....mmmm. I have boxes upon boxes of tea stashed in my room (for lack of space in the kitchen that I share with four other girls). Tea before bed is wonderful. It calms me down and helps me relax so that I can get some wholesome rest...and everyone knows how good that feels.

Second. I love the Utah Jazz (I can attribute this love to a very special person, and will probably never be able to thank them enough for it). I love the crowd. I love the noise. I love the adrenaline. I love Al Jefferson! He is my main-man and he gets far less attention than he deserves. He is my favorite. And he just made a shot...GO JAZZ!

Third. I love nail polish. I have way too many colors for my own good, but I love that I can express my mood through the color of my nails, or add some spice to an outfit, or support the Jazz by sporting their colors. Nail polish is just SO fun!

Fourth. I love Nike. Nike, Nike...they make some quality running shoes. They cradle my feet like little clouds. Al Jefferson just made another shot! Foul! Woo! I bought four new pairs in the past four months...and I love every one of them. Plus, they can be customized!

Fifth. I love House. I love his blatant attitude. I love his limp. I love his genius. I love his romance. I love his scruffy face...plus the show is entertaining, and I love being able to try to guess what is wrong with the patients...I'm always wrong, but I love it none-the-less.

Sixth. I love sushi. The lovely spice of the Vegas roll. The clean California roll. The kick of the playboy roll. The sweetness of the japan roll. I love it all...I also love miso soup. Simple and amazing.

Seventh. I love rock climbing...specifically bouldering. I love the stinging in my hands after a good run on the wall. I love the burning in my arms. Call me crazy, but I love the tendinitis. I love the pain...because I love the satisfaction of reaching the top, of hitting that final hold.

Eighth. I love my big bed. I love being able to sprawl across it at night with my teddy bears and soft blankets. I love that it is tall enough that I nearly have to jump to get on it. I love that I have enough room to spread all of my books and notebooks and still be able to lay down while I do my homework or read my scriptures.

Ninth. I love swimming. I love gliding through the water like a fish. I love losing myself in my thoughts while I get a work out. I love the burn in my shoulders and legs and core. I love the rhythm of swimming. I love being surrounded by potentially fatal amounts of water, but knowing that I have control over it.

Finally, I will end with ten (the list could go on, but I will limit myself), I love multi-tasking on the iPad. I love that I can check my email, or do research while still jamming out to Pandora or the iPod. I love that I can resume my game right where I was after sending a quick email or taking a note for my class.

This is a list of ten things that I love right now. I love, love. I love being in love...

Oh...yes.

Color Me Crimson



My personality is, apparently, red. The description for 'reds' would tell you that I am power hungry, manipulative, a work-a-holic, practical and logical, and a 'control freak'.  I need to look good, be right, and be respected. I only seek the approval of a select few people. I hide my insecurities. I am a productive and a good leader. I like challenging adventure. This is the generic description for my color personality.

In some regard, I believe that these results are accurate.

I do like to have control over my life. In many cases, I may disagree with someone that I care about, but I have the mind-set to believe that my opinion and decisions may be more logical and correct. I do try to be open to other opinions. It is possible to sway my opinion if they pose more practical ideas.  I do not intentionally try to have power over the life of another. I believe that every person has the right to control how they live.

If I am manipulative, it is unintentional. Apparently I am though. I have been told that I am, and I hated hearing it. I have been making an effort to stop...hopefully it is working.

I do like to work. I gave up an opportunity to be on the swim team in high school so that I could continue working. I feel that filling time productively is important. To be idle is to cut yourself short.

I am very realistic. I take risks into consideration and the pros and cons in making decisions. I like to be careful about the things that I do, because I do not want to end up in a hard situation. Unfortunately, my cautious nature has failed to prevent me from experiencing trials and errors. Luckily, I can take those experiences and apply them to future decisions.

I do not think that I am a 'control freak'. I do like to be orderly and have particular preferences to how things should be, but I am aware that my way is not always good for everyone. I try to limit my control so that it does not interfere with the comfort of others.

I do try to have a pleasant appearance...I am pretty sure most people like to look good though...red or not. I do think that I may have taken it to a bit of an extreme, though. I have a very large wardrobe that is relatively carefully organized. I like to shop, but when I do, I am particular about the quality of construction and fiber content, and I take it into consideration. I will not buy something that is cheaply made. Buckle is the worst place you can buy a shirt, if you want it to hold its integrity for more than a couple of months(they have nice jeans though...). I feel naked without earrings or makeup...although, I will not to apply too much. Cake-face is gross, and yes, we can all tell that you are wearing half the bottle on your face. I am pretty comfortable in sweats and t-shirts too though...

I do like being right. I try to be educated to be so, though. I am not going to demand that my opinion is right, though....because it isn't always. Many people have heard the words "I am always right" pass my lips...I am usually teasing when I say that...or at least mostly teasing. I blame Mike for that. In 10th grade we had a disagreement about which side of a mail-truck is the driver's side. I was correct...and I don't think he has actually ever proven me wrong about anything since then...

Respect is a huge deal to me. In some cases, I would prefer respect over love. Don't get me wrong, love is great and all, but it is possible to love nearly anything. It is harder to earn respect...well, that is my opinion anyhow...

I do seek the approval of a select few people. I try to be a people-pleaser, but if I have to compromise what I believe is right in order to do that, I will not. I am the only person who can decide what is best for me. I am willing to accept advice from my parents, priesthood leaders that preside over me, a few close friends, and a few teachers that have earned my respect and trust, but anyone else cannot expect me to take their advice. I will hear it, but ultimately it will be my call.

I am very good at hiding my insecurities. That is probably all that I will say about that...for obvious reasons. Self-preservation.

Productivity is important...I can refer to being a 'work-a-holic'...to be idle is to cut yourself short. Consider video games, perhaps?

I think I am very capable of being a leader, but only if people choose to follow me. I am no tyrant. Hopefully I can live such a life that the values I hold are correct and can be held with importance by others as well. If that is the case, I would be content in leading them.

I do enjoy a challenge....and adventure. I like to set goals for myself. I find pleasure in progression. Combined with a little adrenaline, progression reaps satisfaction.

This is my self-dissection, in the respect that I am a 'red personality'. Take me, or leave me, baby.


Oh...and if anyone just happens to be curious about the other colors... my color code results were 40% red, 37% blue, 14% white, and 9% yellow. Start page them, if you feel inclined to do so.